Welcome to the Camps Bay Pot — a place where the water is gradually getting hotter, and we, the frogs, are slowly cooking.

But fear not, we were given the privilege to vote on it! And, in true democratic style, we voted ourselves into this cosy stew.

Enter CID, the Community Improvement District, promoted as the magical elixir to save us from a dramatic increase in crime and the impending deterioration of our beloved area. We were told that it was for our own good, and, as good citizens, we were convinced to approve it with a friendly “democratic” vote.

Since the CID began on July 1, 2024, we’ve seen so many positive changes.

For instance, they cut the bushes along Camps Bay Drive and kindly left them scattered on the roadside to dry up.

A little fire hazard for those windy days, perhaps? Imagine the chaos if the wind picks up, dry branches blowing all over the place, blocking roads, and starting a fire.

But hey, we’re just getting started. It’s only summer, and we’re about to enter wildfire season, just the thing we needed to spice up the landscape.

Meanwhile, the CID has been incredibly busy tackling real issues. You know, things like parking on red lines, speeding, and causing minor car accidents (including the exciting moment when they managed to flip their truck on The Drive).

There’s even a rumour that their firearms have gone missing, which is rather concerning. But, of course, not nearly as concerning as someone in our area potentially walking around with a weapon they shouldn’t have. Perhaps the next “community safety initiative” will involve a more thorough inventory check?

Let’s not forget the rising phenomenon of vagrants migrating from the lower levels of Camps Bay to the upper levels.

Why, you ask? Well, because it seems the CID’s patrols are very enthusiastic about safeguarding the beach area, but not so much about, say, patrolling the upper roads. It’s almost like a game of hide and seek, except we’re all the ones hiding, and the CID is too busy sunbathing.

So, dear residents, welcome to the pot. The water is warming up, and the CID will soon be needing even more funds. How do we know this? Easy! With a shiny new property valuation on the horizon, the CID fees are sure to rise — another delicious ingredient to add to our simmering stew.

And here’s the real kicker: If, by some unfortunate twist of fate, the CID manages to cause harm or injury, who do we blame?

Well, I’ll leave that for someone with a bit more sense (or perhaps a sense of humour) to figure out.

Spencer McNally, chairperson Camps Bay CID

WM Czornij’s facetious sarcasm disrespects the truth so grossly that it is tempting to simply ignore him.

Readers should not however be misled from the reality of the many positive changes brought about by the Camps Bay CID:

Two dedicated 24/7/365 City of Cape Town Law Enforcement Officers, additional tactical response officers and vehicles, foot patrol officers, control room operators and a K-9 unit have vastly improved public safety across the neighbourhood.

Multiple arrests and a dramatic reduction in crime neighbourhood-wide, including housebreakings and robberies.

Illegal traders shut down, hundreds of units of alcohol confiscated, multiple weapon and drug seizures in numerous stop-and-searches on the beachfront have successfully deterred almost all of the criminal element that previously made for such an unpleasant environment there.

Full-time social worker employed for rehabilitation of long-term homeless, including several who are mentally ill. More than 30 individuals formerly living homeless in green belts and parks assisted into shelters or back to their families.

Community Stewards learnership programme has replaced informal “car guards” (who were often drunk or high and begged aggressively) with vetted and sober formerly homeless individuals who also serve as eyes and ears for the CID (and who don’t beg because, thanks to the CID, they now earn an income).

Many acres of alien vegetation removed in collaboration with City Parks and Sugarbird Trust (Mr Czornij’s false presumption that the CID “cut the bushes along Camps Bay Drive” and then “scattered [them] on the roadside to dry up” was part of this, and the cut branches were removed in due course).

Thousands of tons of litter and debris removed from green belts, including illegally dumped builders’ rubble and household waste.

None of the above is possible without a CID, a reality well understood by the 95.1% who voted in favour during an exemplary democratic process that achieved an unprecedented rate of voter participation.

And, despite Czornij’s misleading claims to the contrary, with annual increases fixed below inflation for the duration of the CID’s five year budget (after which property owners will vote on a new one).

Czornij is welcome to engage directly and constructively with the CID if he wishes to understand the full picture of the matters that he so glibly misrepresents.

To that end, the Camps Bay CID continues to welcome any and all constructive engagement and feedback via email to connect@campsbaycid.org.

#service-delivery

Camps Bay pot warming up

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