Mihlali Ndamase. Picture: Instagram.
Renowned South African content creator Mihlali Ndamase was once again trending on social media after she released an “open letter” video to address the abuse allegations between herself and her ex, Leeroy Sidambe.
The 27-year-old took to YouTube to address the matter. She started by saying that she took full accountability for her involvement in the “toxic relationship” and that she continues to address the pain she endured.
“This relationship started off verbally and emotionally harmful and matters quickly escalated to it being physically harmful,” she explained.
“One can only keep quiet for so long after tolerating gaslighting, aggression, emotional abuse, manipulation, obsessive behaviour and control tactics employed by an individual, tactics used to distort my perception of love, which led me down a path of pain and torment,” she added.
When she described the scars of the abuse that “ran deep” and echoed in her personal and professional life, it was evident for all to see because although the video was in black and white with her face covered in make-up, you could see the black eye on her left eye and a scar on her forehead.
WATCH THE FULL VIDEO BELOW
As she embarks on a healing journey, Ndamase asked people to educate themselves on the nature of emotional abuse, gender-based violence and the devastating impact it has on families, individuals and communities.
She added in the video that she hopes that her story will inspire many others who are abuse victims to speak out and seek help.
Her “open letter” was met with mixed reactions on X.
Some believe that she was naive to believe that a man who mistreated his ex-wife, Mary-Jane Sidambe, would treat her better.
This included @uuniversalmusic who posted: “Mihlali believed that a guy who mistreated his wife could be a different man to her. She made the bed herself and is probably lying on it right now.
“She is now monetising her ‘trauma’. Both of them deserve full karma for what they did to Mary-Jane. Mihlali is toxic!”
@madam___speaker added: “There is no honour amongst thieves! Sometimes you will think you have won when you date a married man and get promoted from side chick to main.
“Kanti cha (Instead), you’re taking a burden from the wife to carry it yourself. Anyway, all the best with your healing journey.”
However, others sympathised with her, saying she didn’t deserve the abuse and encouraged her to get back on her feet following the incident.
“Aarrggg, that Mihlali video just made my heart sink…there’s an inexplicable sense of embarrassment that comes with the realisation that you’re in an abusive relationship…you feel so pathetic, having to publicly admit it must feel 100 times so,” said @MsAphelele.
@Leeann_Nthako commented: “It's weird how we are now blaming Mihlali for being abused but we believed it when Mary Jane put it out there that he was abusive towards her. Let's not shy away from the real issue irrespective of the circumstances.
Some said she needs to apologise to Mary-Jane for gaslighting her and seeing her as “bitter”.
“Oh Mihlali Ndamase, I almost felt sorry for you but remembered how you belittled Mary Jane Sidambe. It's all coming back crashing down on you. Something is off about the open letter. It screams damage control! Learn or perish,” said @3202S.