You win some, you lose some: Parents, avoid the ‘trap’ of buying kids’ dreams
This one is for the parents dreaming of their kid becoming a huge sports star.
I know we’re all trying to build the next generational talent after seeing what Tiger Woods, Lewis Hamilton and the Williams sisters’ fathers did.
This goes for mothers too, because we all know very well that most of us are raised by single mothers, with the help of aunts, uncles and grandparents.
The reality is that as kids on the Cape Flats and surrounding kasis, we’re the most vulnerable because of our big dreams.
We’re easily taken advantage of by fly-by-night agents and academies that claim to be the “pathway to the pros”.
What’s sad about it all is seeing parents from eKasi driving to suburban clubs and paying to register their children in the bougie areas instead of the club next door where the kid actually started and learned how to kick a ball.
Now that your kid can kick a ball, “Ta Bhiza” from next door who taught your kid how to kick a ball is all of sudden useless.
Suddenly, parents drive out of eKasi not realising how valuable that petrol money they spent could have made a massive difference at that local club where your son played for joy with his friends that he grew up with.
It’s what former footballer, turned mentor, Nathan Paulse calls a “trap”.
The Ajax Cape Town legend and former Bafana Bafana striker says: “It’s that poverty programming trap that’s deeply embedded into the fabric of society.
“This is exactly why I created the bi-weekly platform Next Level Challenge mentorship programme - to engage those on the ground, players, coaches and parents, more aggressively through robust conversation.”
One can’t deny how impactful and life-changing football has been for many who were looking for ways out of the troubles of our different communities we come from.
We just haven’t been honest about how many people don’t make it. There so many more that never made it all the way.
Even for those that do make it, we haven’t been real about how they feel they could have “scored more goals” or “won more championships” and even “‘more Bafana Bafana caps”.
So you see my friends, everyone has regrets and sore points in this beautiful game.
It’s just sad to see how so many people take their anger at failure in football to the next generations.
Whether it was politics, a coach that didn’t like you or whatever, the bottom line is that it didn’t happen and you have to live with it.
You not getting picked at that trial that one time is the same pain as missing a penalty in a professional cup final.
It hurts and unfortunately there is no way to measure that pain my friend.
Just last week, I mentioned how if you’re playing the game to win championships and medals is not the way to go.
Year in year out, we hear of stories and claims by grassroots coaches and clubs regarding players and clearances.
According to the South African Football Association, amateur players are free to move wherever they want to go “in yearly cycles”.
However, there are instances where some clubs feel they should be compensated for the work they put in the development of a player and, as a result, they hold on to clearances.
This often happens to kids from disadvantaged backgrounds because their parents are “so proud” that their son enters some “prestigious” or “reputable” academy or club.
We need to fix this, and I think it starts with the parents that send or allow their kids to join a local football club.
Parents need to understand that similar to your private gym, clubs depend on their members’ contributions to survive.
Kids don’t have money, so the financial commitment automatically falls on the parents.
Paulse asks: “Would you send your child to school and not pay school fees and still expect them to get a good education?
“Parents mustn’t see the fees they pay to clubs as an expense but rather as an investment. It’s not a business transaction, but rather a partnership.
“Allowing your kid to play football for a club is basically endorsing the club to take care of your child and provide them with good training and, more importantly, safely.
“You need good people to do all these things, which comes at a cost to you as a parent if you want the best for your child.”
Kids need to hear the above from their parents because these are the realities of life, some will make it and many won’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end for those that don’t.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za