Inesicefe indoda engaganiwe efuna ukudla emhlambini

KUNINGI ukuzithethelela emadodeni angaganiwe. Abanye bathi bazoganelwani ngoba abesifazane abasaziphethe kahle. Omunye athi ngeke aganwe ngoba usephoxeke kaningi othandweni. Omunye usho nje mdala futhi uyohlanganisa u-50! uhambe edla emhlambini ngoba noma engafuni ukuganwa kodwa usathanda ukuchitha isikhathi nowesifazane.

Ngilapha langikhona, niyazi yini ukuthi buningi ububi bokungaganwa kunokuganwa? Ngisho ongoti bavumelana nami, bathi abesilisa abangaganiwe futhi abazinikele ebumpohlweni, bayabalimazeka emqondweni. Kuvela nokuthi siyakhula isibalo samadoda angodla yedwa ngoba engafuni ukuganwa. La madoda akungeve ngoba engenayo imali yokulobola kodwa iningi lawo angongoqo. Amanye asaba ukuzibophezela kumuntu wesifazane oyedwa. Iningi lawo lihamba lidla emihlambini okuyinto eyingozi kabi.

Ongoti bathi ubungozi bokungaganwa uze ukhule, kungenza ukuthi ugcine ungamtholanga owesifazane olungele wena, ugcine ungasafunwa muntu. Phela abesifazane banakho ukuzibuza uma usumdala ufuna ukuzibophezela kubona, bazibuze ukuthi yini eyenza ukuthi ungabi namuntu wesifazane ongowakho? Okunye wukuthi uma uganwa kuseyisikhathi, uthola umuntu ozokhula naye nijwayelane kuqambe kufika isikhathi sezifo ezingamahlalakhona ezingenza nenduku ingabe isasebenza ngendlela, vele unomuntu wakho okwaziyo.

Uma ungena ebudlelwaneni obusha usumdala, zithi zisuka amadaka induku isinenkinga, kulula ukuthi lowo muntu wesifazane akuthimulele.

Ngithi madoda ganwani kusenesikhathi, niqambe nificwa yizinkinga zenduku senishadile futhi sekulula nokukhuluma nonkosikazi wakho nixazulule izinkinga. Nakho nje ukulinda amathonsi abanzi, nifune ukuganwa yizingane ezincane kunani ngoba ontanga yenu sebagana, akuyona into enhle. Ngiyabona kulezi zinsuku amadoda amadala agijimela izingane zama-2 000. Uzwa kuthiwa umkhehlehle wekhehla uganwe yingane eneminyaka ewu-20. Wee klibhi klolo! Ngeke leyo ngane ibe ngunkosikazi wakho.

Okokuqala nje ayikazi lutho ngempilo, okwesibili isazobona ontanga yayo, okwesithathu isazokufuna ucansi uyoze ube mayoywana yizimbiza uchatha into engapheli ingane ila ifuna ucansi. Uma ingalutholi futhi, uyokhala njenge ambulensi isiye kuntanga yalo.

Namadoda anemali, ngisho nakuwona. Noma ungaba nemali kangakanani kodwa uma umzimba usumdala, uzokunika izinkinga ocansini. Yebo, owesifazane osemncane angaluthwa yimali yakho okwamanje kodwa kungekudala uzokugila.

Ungoti wezothando nemishado, uSolwazi Adim Berla, uthi siwu-54% isibalo samadoda ayizimpohlwa eNingizimu Afrika. Ukuhlala isikhathi eside indoda ingaganiwe kungagcina kulimaza umqondo wayo izizwe inomzwangedwa, ukhwantalala, inhliziyo encane ebese iphazamiseka umqondo igcine icabanga nokuzibulala ngoba izobona sengathi ayifunwa muntu kanti isidlulelwe isikhathi. Lo ngoti uze athi noma ngabe ukuthanda kanjani ukuphila impilo yakho ngawedwana kodwa uma uyindoda uyamdinga umuntu wesifazane ozokubonisa akwakhise futhi achithe isizungu nawe. Yingakho isisho sithi umfazi inkinga edingekayo. Abesilisa imvamisa abasebenza kahle bajabulela ukuba nemali nokugijimisa amantombazane. Bavele badize ngemali baze bakhohlwe ukuthola oyedwa onengqondo bagcine bephaphama ilanga selishonile mhlawumbe nemali isiphelile.

Akubona bonke abesilisa abangaganiwe ngoba bengenawo amandla okuganwa kodwa iningi labo lithi alifuni ukuganwa ngoba abantu besifazane bayahlupha. Noma ngabe abantu besifazane bayahlupha kodwa kungangcono indoda izitholele umfazi wayo ezimisele ngokuhlushwa nguyena ihlale phansi kunokuthi ife ingenamfazi. Ngaphandle kwalokhu okushiwo ongoti nakhu okunye okunescefe ngendoda endala engaganiwe emndenini:

1.Inescefe ekhaya nasezinganeni ngoba ithumana njalo.

2. Kumele iwashelwe abashana ngoba yona ayinamfazi

3 Kumele iphekelwe, iphakelwe ngodadewabo ngoba yona ayiganiwe.

4.Nasendlini yayo kumele iqoqelwe, ishanelelwe abashana ngoba yona ayifuni ukuganwa

Nasekhaya ugcina usuqanjwa igama obizwa ngalo isinyenyela wena ongalazi eliveza ukuthi usunesdina kangakanani ngoba ungenaye umfazi. Kwesinye isikhathi wena awukuboni lokhu kuyinkinga kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuyakulimaza.

Elawini LikaMaGumede sifisa ukugqugquzela abesilisa ukuthi bangavumi ukuba yizimpohlwa kodwa basheshe baganwe bengakabi nesicefe ekhaya. Uma uyimpohlwa ngisho endaweni awuhlonipheki noma kunomcimbi emakhaya kuqotshiswa wena inyama ngoba usuke usafana nokuthi ungumfana awuyona indoda.