US actress/singer Jennifer Lopez and US actor Ben Affleck in happier times before their split. P Micture: Michael Tran/AFP
Jennifer Lopez's split from Ben Affleck almost took her out "for good".
The 55-year-old singer-and-actress filed for divorce from the 'Argo' star two months ago after just two years of marriage and she does "not regret" her decision "for one second".
Jennifer - who was previously married to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd, and Marc Anthony - told Nikki Glaser in a conversation for Interview magazine: "I was thinking about this time in my life, and I’m like, 'That’s not what I thought it was going to turn out like.' And then I thought, 'No, this is exactly where I needed to be, to lead me to where I want to go.'"
Asked if she doesn't regret the pain she went through, she added: "Not one second. That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good. It almost did.
"But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, 'F***, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a f****** sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again.' ”
The “On the Floor” hitmaker - who didn't mention Affleck by name throughout the interview - admitted it has been "f****** hard" being along and there are times she has felt "sad" and "desperate" but she knows she will be fine on her own.
She said: "This summer, I had to be like, 'I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.'
"It’s f****** hard!... It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate.
"But when you sit in those feelings and go, 'These things are not going to kill me', it’s like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself. Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.
"I used to say I’m a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, 'No, I’m actually good.' "
And now, Jennifer - who has 16-year-old twins Max and Emme with Anthony - is determined to stay single.
She said: "Here’s the thing: There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anybody. How’s that?"
Bang Showbiz